Monday, February 9, 2009

@ 9:13 PM

ok after unpublishing the previous posts. i'm back with a decent one. i'll try to minus the emo part till the very end, and you guys can skip it if you can ok =) hope you'll enjoy this post till that part since photos had once been a endangered species in my blog.

yeap so on the 7th of feb 2009, i set off for a trip to Kukop, Malaysia. i mahjong-ed overnight with friends the previous night, so you can imagine how tired i was. yup this picture is to show that i'm officially overseas as i've crossed the checkpoint =) YAY holidays !!!!


a proof that it's not singapore expressway xD *chuckles* it's been long since i went on a holiday.


i found their taxi real cute so i went to take a closer photo of it and the uncles attempted to swarmp over and asked if i need to hire a cab. but i just got down my bus =.=

some ulu pandan building in Kukop =)


the signboard of the kampung


the super retro-looking roads =D i like ....


HAHA, this is totally dope right !!! super fu4 gu3 can !!! never thought i would even see it here.

after a short walk in the scorching sun, we've finally reached the sea area. WOOTS ~~~ i tell you the first breeze you feel after you leave singapore is like a total signal of freedom and carefree-ness.


that is the keylong over there. i initially thought we're gonna live there but no. sadlly =(


the boat that left before we came. some of us chased after it when we arrived before others thinking we missed out ferry HAHA kiasu luh.


a close up of a "i-don't-know-what" =x i just found it beautiful =)

AH HA !!! can't do without a little bit of camwhoring xD


eh heh unglam. sorry !!! ^^

yeah ....... here comes our ferry !!!


first time on a ferry, sua ku luh xDDD i'm like darn happy then.


the one who "drives" the boat HAHAHA !!!


the main office of the jetty. it's the most modern building over there WAHAHAHA !!!

see that smile. so ugly ..... hehehe.


more picture of kehlongs ................. boats .......... and what nots.




i find this aloe vera darn pretty. i used to have one at home for about a few years? but that was very long ago haha.


isn't this like B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L? =D


yes we had to walk on 'roads' like this. if you hate that person, push him/her down, and that's the end of him/her LOL !!! and you can never walk in peace for more than 10seconds cause these narrow 'roads' are being shared by bicycles and motorcycles as well *faints*. i feel very very endangered LOL !!! what a pampered Singaporean kid right haha.


here are my two other cousins =) they are the younger sisters of the one i took photo with above.


the water level rises to the top at night. can you imagine? o.0 but the fishing rod we rented was actually not long enough. cheat money LMAO !!!


some chairs at our balcony. only crazy people will sit there at this time. super freaking HOT !!! but facing this view, you always get to see cranes and mudskippers, alot of them. i wanted to take a picture of flying cranes, but the moment i took my phone out, they stood on the water refusing to lift their feet off the ground already.



here's the huge huge living room. i love that sofa in a corner. whenever i felt very down, i would sit there to calm myself and think of happy things before i proceed on to the activities. just like my textbook theories for children HAHA !!! i'm cute right =/


our bedroom. there's another exactly the same bunk bed on the other side. so each room could contain 8people but there were only 6 of us sharing that room =D


i found the toilet squat quite scary luh, cause there's a hole there for all your business residues to flow into the sea. we Singaporeans have an issue about urinating into swimming pools etc etc. imagine the fishes and prawns we are gonna eat actually feeds on our *ahems* LOL !! uber disgusting. and what if your leg got stuck there and is bitten of by sharks? what ifs what ifs .... xD


soon after we unpack, it was lunchtime already. they say got yu sheng, but it's actually vegetarian one =.= the dish consist of guavas, mangoes, apples, pineapples, carrots, long2 zhu1 guo3 and other what nots. of course, plus salad cream. super sourish but nice. these are the leftovers =x wahahaha, too hungry luh deh.


there was like a SPREAD of good food. vegetables, curry fish head, assam fish, seaweed meatball soup, stew chicken and huge prawns. but you can see from the picture that it was darn squeezy that 2 big man hd to squeeze and eat like that LOL !!! the food serving was huge, but not huge enough for say 10people?


look at the size of the prawn in proportion to my plate. it's like basically 1/5 of my plate *slaps head* why don't they have prawns like that in Singapore? all ship there kiu zui ar? LMAO !!! damn fresh, yes with all our sai in their stomach =/


look at what's left. NOTHING =D


took a few photos.


IGNORE THE FATS PLEASE !!! i admit i've been eating too much recently, but it's like after a darn heavy lunch, so i look quite pumped up as compared to normal LOL !! don't believe?? come meet me LOL !!! maybe i just don't know i'm that fat still =( don't tell me !! i don't want to hear !!! *just kidding la*


they even had the karaoke set and TV channels from Singapore showing all the older drama series. this was taken from my favourite corner seat, the living room HUGE right.


below few are sceneries that i love most. i often zi bi there at times =x




after their tea break which i skipped, we went out to jalan jalan. there was this man selling ice cream, for only about SGD0.40 !!! look at it people, 3-4scoops of it, in a cute little cone. Singapore ice-cream is nuts man.


the poorer living conditions ..... there was a very bad stench when we walked past this area =(



i thought i saw an alligator in this photo =/ but it's actually just some sack and seashells =D


the largest mudskipper ever. all of us thought it was dead, but when we walked back after jalan, it moved position LOL !!! blame my lousy phone camera for not being able to zoom well, so you can't really see how big it is through this photo.


a baby merz =) but it's an manual car, if not i might consider getting one =)


i think this picture is taken very well. =D *claps claps* i totally like the feeling of it. haha i don't photoshop, so must be my photo taking skills very good =D


and this is a school you're looking at. it's seated amongst the restaurants, mama shops and car park. what a 'conducive' environment huh.


when the sky darkens ......... looks kinda ghostly right.



there was this bulldog which ran into our apartment. it's like very afraid of everyone, but if you carry her, she'll just let you carry. doesn't bite =D good dog. but i spent like 1 whole hour trying to take a decent photo of her luh. she's really darn active.



THERE, hai shi the owner you ban fa =)


then starts the fun. the strength of light of four =)


i think my camera's good *contradicting* it can even make the scars on my hand visible in the dark (if you know what i'm talking about).


the photos as you scroll down alot, are all about fireworks. thanks to our 'neighbour' for that 2days. they spent a whooping RM10,000 on fireworks whereas we only spent like RM600plus, so we got 眼福 le lo. i've already taken out about 60% of those that are not nicely taken, but still i'm left with this amount, so be patient. skip this part if you intend to skip the emo part as well. it's more or less the end.

P.S. camera zoom functions really suck, so what you see is a very scaled down version of the actual image. there are 2 videos attached below if you want better viewing pleasure?

when the fireworks were shooting up the sky, it suddenly gave me alot of hope in us. i thought about the future which was too early to dictate then. it was like seeing my dreams soaring up to the skies and being reflected in my eyes. i made a very sincere prayer for everything to be alright, cause at that point of time i knew what i really want and i need strength to persevere on.

but i guess no one heard my prayer .......













































































now for the very very emo part.

i received a message this morning, with very very harsh meanings. maybe to me it is. it's like someone smacked my head with a hammer. i suddenly woke up and all my dreams were gone. i was right at my house door, and the tears just came out immediately. it didn't stop until i realized i was reaching school.

i regret whatever i did although i did try hard as compared to many others. i tried not to expect much, not 'appear' too frequently. i don't know but maybe not replying to msg-es for like a few hours is common for others, or maybe i just need a whole lot more patience. i'm trying to be a better girl but i think i failed badly. i'm deeply sorry for that tone i gave, but yet i couldn't say it cause part of me know that it wasn't done accidentally, i was angry, cause i misunderstood him.

i'm really sorry, if you happen to read this.

he sometimes give me the idea that if i do not make my presence known, he might forget about it anytime. he doesn't have any responsibility to assure me of anything, but why is it that i keep searching for that assurance from him?

i went to Malaysia, i bought stuffs for belle, that's cause she's my bestest friend. but him? we ain't even anywhere near a couple, why do i buy gifts for him like how i buy it for my loved ones? throughout the trip before we headed to the shopping mall, i kept worrying that i couldn't find anything for him, why? i asked my friend to help me purchase something from US and ship it over so that i can give it to him as a valentine's day present. but stupid me, had our names carved on it, so i asked my friend to cancelled that order. i think i seriously like him too much, until i couldn't even gauge what level my feelings for him is at.

it's ok if we were still hi-bye friends, but not anymore when i realized what kind of feelings i had for him. i am afraid to lose everything we have, so i can't help but drop a few gestures here and there, though not always. i feel totally at lost liking him, i don't know what i'm doing at all. i only knew i fell in love, real blindly this time, w/o much consideration.

it has always been a very special feeling he gives me everytime i see him. despite not knowing him, i never fail to notice when he's around, but it was kept at that level till then. i wonder if i made the right choice to hang out with them that day, if i didn't, probably it won't hurt so much now. but i know, no matter how many times i turn back time, i'll still feel the same about him. i still like him that much, and i'll always do.

i know my good friends will ask me to talk to him about knowing each other all over again since now i know what i should not have done. but i don't think i deserve that chance and things wouldn't be the same anymore. the pressure he gets when he sees me close around him, can never be eliminated.

so stupidly i told him i'll return him his personal space, which means even that 1 or 2 msg-es is not allowed. is that what i see? an ending even before a start? i had badly wished that things will work, really ..... but where can i find the missing pieces to fix them up?

as much as i hope that things can be reversed, i probably wouldn't ask for a chance and frighten him further again. i sincerely want him to lead his life happily with/without me.

if there's gonna be a day where the whole thing repeats again, i'm so gonna make things right. probably in my dreams ...............

i'm just sucha goddamn failure. shucks*

yeap, i don't know what to say anymore, and i won't say anymore cause i'm damn afraid that i will 说多错多. i should just concentrate on my final project and exams, and then think of how to piece myself up later.

i'm still shattered.
the wound's still raw,
don't rub salt on it i warn you.

don't probe further if you're not people like belle or he himself. i'm totally not alright now.
i think i even lost him, as a friend ...........

*helpless deep inside
regrets all over the place.

Monday, February 9, 2009

@ 9:13 PM

ok after unpublishing the previous posts. i'm back with a decent one. i'll try to minus the emo part till the very end, and you guys can skip it if you can ok =) hope you'll enjoy this post till that part since photos had once been a endangered species in my blog.

yeap so on the 7th of feb 2009, i set off for a trip to Kukop, Malaysia. i mahjong-ed overnight with friends the previous night, so you can imagine how tired i was. yup this picture is to show that i'm officially overseas as i've crossed the checkpoint =) YAY holidays !!!!


a proof that it's not singapore expressway xD *chuckles* it's been long since i went on a holiday.


i found their taxi real cute so i went to take a closer photo of it and the uncles attempted to swarmp over and asked if i need to hire a cab. but i just got down my bus =.=

some ulu pandan building in Kukop =)


the signboard of the kampung


the super retro-looking roads =D i like ....


HAHA, this is totally dope right !!! super fu4 gu3 can !!! never thought i would even see it here.

after a short walk in the scorching sun, we've finally reached the sea area. WOOTS ~~~ i tell you the first breeze you feel after you leave singapore is like a total signal of freedom and carefree-ness.


that is the keylong over there. i initially thought we're gonna live there but no. sadlly =(


the boat that left before we came. some of us chased after it when we arrived before others thinking we missed out ferry HAHA kiasu luh.


a close up of a "i-don't-know-what" =x i just found it beautiful =)

AH HA !!! can't do without a little bit of camwhoring xD


eh heh unglam. sorry !!! ^^

yeah ....... here comes our ferry !!!


first time on a ferry, sua ku luh xDDD i'm like darn happy then.


the one who "drives" the boat HAHAHA !!!


the main office of the jetty. it's the most modern building over there WAHAHAHA !!!

see that smile. so ugly ..... hehehe.


more picture of kehlongs ................. boats .......... and what nots.




i find this aloe vera darn pretty. i used to have one at home for about a few years? but that was very long ago haha.


isn't this like B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L? =D


yes we had to walk on 'roads' like this. if you hate that person, push him/her down, and that's the end of him/her LOL !!! and you can never walk in peace for more than 10seconds cause these narrow 'roads' are being shared by bicycles and motorcycles as well *faints*. i feel very very endangered LOL !!! what a pampered Singaporean kid right haha.


here are my two other cousins =) they are the younger sisters of the one i took photo with above.


the water level rises to the top at night. can you imagine? o.0 but the fishing rod we rented was actually not long enough. cheat money LMAO !!!


some chairs at our balcony. only crazy people will sit there at this time. super freaking HOT !!! but facing this view, you always get to see cranes and mudskippers, alot of them. i wanted to take a picture of flying cranes, but the moment i took my phone out, they stood on the water refusing to lift their feet off the ground already.



here's the huge huge living room. i love that sofa in a corner. whenever i felt very down, i would sit there to calm myself and think of happy things before i proceed on to the activities. just like my textbook theories for children HAHA !!! i'm cute right =/


our bedroom. there's another exactly the same bunk bed on the other side. so each room could contain 8people but there were only 6 of us sharing that room =D


i found the toilet squat quite scary luh, cause there's a hole there for all your business residues to flow into the sea. we Singaporeans have an issue about urinating into swimming pools etc etc. imagine the fishes and prawns we are gonna eat actually feeds on our *ahems* LOL !! uber disgusting. and what if your leg got stuck there and is bitten of by sharks? what ifs what ifs .... xD


soon after we unpack, it was lunchtime already. they say got yu sheng, but it's actually vegetarian one =.= the dish consist of guavas, mangoes, apples, pineapples, carrots, long2 zhu1 guo3 and other what nots. of course, plus salad cream. super sourish but nice. these are the leftovers =x wahahaha, too hungry luh deh.


there was like a SPREAD of good food. vegetables, curry fish head, assam fish, seaweed meatball soup, stew chicken and huge prawns. but you can see from the picture that it was darn squeezy that 2 big man hd to squeeze and eat like that LOL !!! the food serving was huge, but not huge enough for say 10people?


look at the size of the prawn in proportion to my plate. it's like basically 1/5 of my plate *slaps head* why don't they have prawns like that in Singapore? all ship there kiu zui ar? LMAO !!! damn fresh, yes with all our sai in their stomach =/


look at what's left. NOTHING =D


took a few photos.


IGNORE THE FATS PLEASE !!! i admit i've been eating too much recently, but it's like after a darn heavy lunch, so i look quite pumped up as compared to normal LOL !! don't believe?? come meet me LOL !!! maybe i just don't know i'm that fat still =( don't tell me !! i don't want to hear !!! *just kidding la*


they even had the karaoke set and TV channels from Singapore showing all the older drama series. this was taken from my favourite corner seat, the living room HUGE right.


below few are sceneries that i love most. i often zi bi there at times =x




after their tea break which i skipped, we went out to jalan jalan. there was this man selling ice cream, for only about SGD0.40 !!! look at it people, 3-4scoops of it, in a cute little cone. Singapore ice-cream is nuts man.


the poorer living conditions ..... there was a very bad stench when we walked past this area =(



i thought i saw an alligator in this photo =/ but it's actually just some sack and seashells =D


the largest mudskipper ever. all of us thought it was dead, but when we walked back after jalan, it moved position LOL !!! blame my lousy phone camera for not being able to zoom well, so you can't really see how big it is through this photo.


a baby merz =) but it's an manual car, if not i might consider getting one =)


i think this picture is taken very well. =D *claps claps* i totally like the feeling of it. haha i don't photoshop, so must be my photo taking skills very good =D


and this is a school you're looking at. it's seated amongst the restaurants, mama shops and car park. what a 'conducive' environment huh.


when the sky darkens ......... looks kinda ghostly right.



there was this bulldog which ran into our apartment. it's like very afraid of everyone, but if you carry her, she'll just let you carry. doesn't bite =D good dog. but i spent like 1 whole hour trying to take a decent photo of her luh. she's really darn active.



THERE, hai shi the owner you ban fa =)


then starts the fun. the strength of light of four =)


i think my camera's good *contradicting* it can even make the scars on my hand visible in the dark (if you know what i'm talking about).


the photos as you scroll down alot, are all about fireworks. thanks to our 'neighbour' for that 2days. they spent a whooping RM10,000 on fireworks whereas we only spent like RM600plus, so we got 眼福 le lo. i've already taken out about 60% of those that are not nicely taken, but still i'm left with this amount, so be patient. skip this part if you intend to skip the emo part as well. it's more or less the end.

P.S. camera zoom functions really suck, so what you see is a very scaled down version of the actual image. there are 2 videos attached below if you want better viewing pleasure?

when the fireworks were shooting up the sky, it suddenly gave me alot of hope in us. i thought about the future which was too early to dictate then. it was like seeing my dreams soaring up to the skies and being reflected in my eyes. i made a very sincere prayer for everything to be alright, cause at that point of time i knew what i really want and i need strength to persevere on.

but i guess no one heard my prayer .......













































































now for the very very emo part.

i received a message this morning, with very very harsh meanings. maybe to me it is. it's like someone smacked my head with a hammer. i suddenly woke up and all my dreams were gone. i was right at my house door, and the tears just came out immediately. it didn't stop until i realized i was reaching school.

i regret whatever i did although i did try hard as compared to many others. i tried not to expect much, not 'appear' too frequently. i don't know but maybe not replying to msg-es for like a few hours is common for others, or maybe i just need a whole lot more patience. i'm trying to be a better girl but i think i failed badly. i'm deeply sorry for that tone i gave, but yet i couldn't say it cause part of me know that it wasn't done accidentally, i was angry, cause i misunderstood him.

i'm really sorry, if you happen to read this.

he sometimes give me the idea that if i do not make my presence known, he might forget about it anytime. he doesn't have any responsibility to assure me of anything, but why is it that i keep searching for that assurance from him?

i went to Malaysia, i bought stuffs for belle, that's cause she's my bestest friend. but him? we ain't even anywhere near a couple, why do i buy gifts for him like how i buy it for my loved ones? throughout the trip before we headed to the shopping mall, i kept worrying that i couldn't find anything for him, why? i asked my friend to help me purchase something from US and ship it over so that i can give it to him as a valentine's day present. but stupid me, had our names carved on it, so i asked my friend to cancelled that order. i think i seriously like him too much, until i couldn't even gauge what level my feelings for him is at.

it's ok if we were still hi-bye friends, but not anymore when i realized what kind of feelings i had for him. i am afraid to lose everything we have, so i can't help but drop a few gestures here and there, though not always. i feel totally at lost liking him, i don't know what i'm doing at all. i only knew i fell in love, real blindly this time, w/o much consideration.

it has always been a very special feeling he gives me everytime i see him. despite not knowing him, i never fail to notice when he's around, but it was kept at that level till then. i wonder if i made the right choice to hang out with them that day, if i didn't, probably it won't hurt so much now. but i know, no matter how many times i turn back time, i'll still feel the same about him. i still like him that much, and i'll always do.

i know my good friends will ask me to talk to him about knowing each other all over again since now i know what i should not have done. but i don't think i deserve that chance and things wouldn't be the same anymore. the pressure he gets when he sees me close around him, can never be eliminated.

so stupidly i told him i'll return him his personal space, which means even that 1 or 2 msg-es is not allowed. is that what i see? an ending even before a start? i had badly wished that things will work, really ..... but where can i find the missing pieces to fix them up?

as much as i hope that things can be reversed, i probably wouldn't ask for a chance and frighten him further again. i sincerely want him to lead his life happily with/without me.

if there's gonna be a day where the whole thing repeats again, i'm so gonna make things right. probably in my dreams ...............

i'm just sucha goddamn failure. shucks*

yeap, i don't know what to say anymore, and i won't say anymore cause i'm damn afraid that i will 说多错多. i should just concentrate on my final project and exams, and then think of how to piece myself up later.

i'm still shattered.
the wound's still raw,
don't rub salt on it i warn you.

don't probe further if you're not people like belle or he himself. i'm totally not alright now.
i think i even lost him, as a friend ...........

*helpless deep inside
regrets all over the place.