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Disclaimer
Absence of vulgarities are not guaranteed. By proceeding to further readings, you're obliged to keep your comments discreet and polite, without any intention to trample on my foot.
Do NOT quote anything here as these are just my personal thoughts, they MIGHT NOT be facts.
Web Mistress
hits
JOLYNN CHEW
A goddamn PERFECTIONIST
loves to be doted on like a PRINCESS
Looks for SINCERITY, SUPPORT, UNDERSTANDING in a person
she Is MATERIALISTIC
LOVES belle, and that's FOREVER.
EASY to talk to, but HARD to please.
Events Calendar
LIFE IS UNEVENTFUL NOW.
Loves
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Music
 
Music Playlist at MixPod.com
Tagboard
wishlist
If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. :)
SHE WANTS ........................
to be a little more successful
to be carefree
to receive flowers heehee !!
 surprises and more surprises !!
ACHIEVED WISHES
 a new laptop
chio laptop case
more nice clothes =D
a new phone DATED Nov 2009
UN-ACHIEVED ONES
laser treatment for my face
SNSD concert tickets
holidays to Thailand, HK, UK, US, Aussie and China?
go overseas with my love one DATED long ago
unlimited slimming sessions LOL DATED since young
BURBERRY wallet DATED Mar 2008
GUCCI LV bag DATED Aug 2009
a new phone DATED Nov 2009
CANON IXUS 130 in orange DATED Mar 2010
hotel stayovers DATED June 2010
Reminisce
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 Tuesday, April 21, 2009  @ 3:06 AM i now sit here wondering, what could i have done differently? what have i been doing the past few months?
about slightly more than a month ago i met a guy whom at that time i foolishly entertained the thought that he could be "the one". it was an "accident" that brought us together, but not really actually. i didn't want to put myself into any more sticky messy relationship status but he wasn't at all giving up. another wave of foolishness made me feel that he could really be "the one".
yeah it all started alright, he was nice most of the time. he dotes on me, buys my favourite food so that i can eat them when i wake up. brings me to places for good food blah blah. arranges mahjong sessions because i wanted to play. i was kind of happy.
slowly and slowly .............. from sweet words, it became shoutings at me. first it was just me and him, and then it became in front of his friends. he takes the lead to start teasing me and pouring cold water over me, seeing him do so, his friends took over the cue from him. no one really bothered what i was thinking. i would even get reprimanded for doing something i'm asked to. as when they like it, they pour a bucket of cold water over me, because everybody knew that my boyfriend wouldn't stand up for me. i knew i couldn't defend myself, because there was no one who would protect and speak up for me. i didn't even want to wait for the day he would start cursing and swearing at me.
in the whole month despite being happy, i felt something missing from him.
my friends who knew him asked me "you really happy with him? yes he seems to treat you alright, but you don't seem to be the most important to him?"
ah huh ...... they got it. yes i forever felt like i was miles away from being number 1 in his heart just even for a second. something a girlfriend should never feel. everywhere we went, everything WE did was what WE liked or at least HE liked. there's never gonna be something we do because I like it. and believe it or not, we NEVER HAD A PROPER DATE. not even once, it's always either impromtu or it's because we need to meet his friends along the way. between us, there's always his friends, soccer and what nots. every single bit of love we had, we need to share them with many people and things. was i even a part of him? but i've given him everything .....
the someone i used to love a lil, loves soccer kind of alot more than he loves me. so i used the subscription i pay to allow him to pursue his hobby. i couldn't bear to restrict him and let him watch his friends enjoy that freedom. i gave him the green light on some conditions ..........
1) do not always watch and talk about soccer all the time.
2) do not always face the computer doing soccer stuffs.
3) do not bet on soccer.
yeah indeed he was a lil happy. he told alot of people "jolynn 让我玩soccer liao ..." oh great, i sound like some control freak. in the start he didn't really keep to the conditions, i thought he was just too excited to follow. after that i have to start reminding him and that's when i keep getting reprimanded for something he promised me. and then that very sentence came out from his mouth ......................
"叫我不要赌是可以啦，不要一直看不要一直讲是没有可能啦。。。"
so from the start, HE NEVER INTENDED TO KEEP HIS PROMISES !!! do you think i'm the kind of girl you can go ahead with first and try to coax me later? if you're looking for that kind of 小女人, i'm not even half ok !!!
so i tried to laugh that pain off ..... i gave myself some false hopes, i lent him the mobile broadband stick again, and true enough with soccer he'd forget about me. he forgets how i feel, and how i hate it when he neglects me cause of soccer. imagine talking to someone for about 5sentences and then his friend flashes the phone screen of soccer scores to him and there your conversation is gone. it repeats every 5-10 sentences, until you get so tired of talking to him.
my friends all say that i'm missing online, and that is because i crippled my computer of its connection for an unworthy empty promise.
loving someone, you would love her everything. you would respect everything important to her because it would make her sad if that important thing is not protected. today my first day of school, started badly with the thought of him. after school i went to a mall to try getting some stuff for a best friend, belle. he met me there and asked me why i need to get things. and apparently i knew that he wasn't listening to the story when i told him many times before. and the one i "loved" told me a shockingly crude remark ...........
"belle 又不是什么重要的人。。。"
belle i know you'll feel bloody angry if you're reading this. at that moment my heart was screaming out "BASTARD !!!" it was because of you that i neglected belle for my whole holiday. she was so understanding and didn't blame me for it, she knew i just wanted to try my best for my love. you didn't even have half that understanding nor initiative to care for me, and you could say something like that.
i couldn't take it anymore. i wouldn't let anyone insult the value of my loved ones like that. i broke off with him. i didn't even give him a reason, because he didn't deserve it. he said i was childish to be angry with that remark, because to him she wasn't important and it's true.
i couldn't bear being with a bastard who can't even treat someone damn important to me with respect. belle 对你不是什么重要的人，可是她是我最珍惜的人。如果你连我的感受都无法理解，也不能体谅我的感受，那就当作我前一个月为你而尽的努力全都浪费！！
i'm damn guilty for neglecting her even before she's gonna migrate overseas for studies, and it's all because of you. if you were a good man, you would feel sorry for causing the neglection between me and her although it may not be entirely your fault. if you were a good boyfriend, you would feel for me.
i am in this world, where i don't know anyone, i have no one to depend on because the person i thought i could trust to protect me, is the one who will bully me the most. there was no one to teach me how to adapt to everything, all i get was how to live their life. i couldn't make a mistake, i can't at all. people there only wanted me to do things their way, i could never have my own say. i feel like i'd take forever to be in their world because i still need to be myself. so much time i'd spent to try make things better, but so much time i've been hurt. no one would give me any words of encouragement.
when i did something right, it should be that way. if i did something wrong, why do you have to be like that. this is all i could recall being a human for the past month, i behaved like a robot, someone who nobody need to care about. they wouldn't even change my battery .........
as time goes by, slowly things changed. from being one of the players on the table, it became half, and finally one day, i'm just an audience, because his friend wanted to play so he had to kick me away. i was perfectly fine with that idea as it was respect that comes first. i again foolishly thought i was still in part of his mind, i'm still 1/2 a player, but no the chance never came.
suddenly somebody wanted to play 20-40cents, which to a fella like him is budget and not worth playing. they were looking for players, and he immediately threw me over to them. the feeling was WOW shiok !!! but no worries, i could still smile.
maybe slowly ....... i wouldn't even be an audience. and everything will be fine .......
the past month, everything was almost all about him. i have so many at the back of my head i've yet to settle, but all i could think of was to do something for him. being with him was like a heavy responsibility to behave for me, and the rewards reaped was a meagre pat on the head. what a cool life .....
i'm very sorry to all my loved ones whom i let down for him. i knew it pained my mom to see me cry everytime i turn in bed at home. although she acted like she never saw, but i knew the hurt when one day she msg-ed me "why do you want to try so hard just to make yourself cry every night. is he really worth it? seeing you like this breaks my heart alot ..."
i don't know how to answer my mom nor myself, but i know ........... since day one, he isn't really that worth it.
have you ever understood the feeling of being small? that's what i feel when i'm with you.
every moment i fight to see my value .....
my presence is ignored, my pride was trampled on ......
why do i need to fight so hard to seen?
if my love is good .....
why do you let me take all these,
if you say you really loved me .....
maybe slowly and slowly again everything would change .............
no more mistakes from me, and not more hurt from you ............
the only thing that will change is the distance between me and you .............
slowly and slowly, i will be very far away from you .....................
no more cold water, no more insensitivity .......
no more hell, no more tears .......
thank god ..........
sometimes i hide in a corner and cry.
they are very happy they laugh at me because you made me cry.
i hate you, hate your friends and all the insensitivity.
3:06 AM
No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean,
for words are slippery and thoughts are vicious.
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Webmiss
SHE .........
DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TO -.- HER !!
hates to be questioned
hates chicken brest meat
hates dark chocolate
hates grapes with seeds
hates raisins
hates onions, garlic, shallots, leeks, and anything in the same category
SHE ............
LOVES mutton, tulang merah, or lamb shank =)
loves instant jellyfish =)
loves TEOCHEW PORRIDGE downstairs my house
loves yong tau foo from the midnight stall downstairs
loves san lor hor fun from PP hwa hwa coffeeshop !!
loves red bean dumplings from Asian Kitchen !!
loves pasta from Shokudo
loves sweet water prawns from IKEA =)
loves van houtten almond chocolate
loves KFC =D
loves sentosa cove xD
loves sashimi
loves peanut mochi from the vegan store near aljunied station !!
loves ferrero rocher =D
loves zha jiang mian from CT
loves sweet potato leaves/stem =))
loves curry fish head
loves wanton mee at joo chiat place =D
loves macadamia nut ice-cream from andersons
good food lah !!
DINING RESTAURANT'S HALL OF FAME
1) Suki Sushi Buffet
2) Sushi tei
3) Ajisen
4) Fish & Co.
5) Soup Restaurant
6) Xin Wang HK Cafe
7) Red Star Dimsum
8) Park Royal Plaza Buffet
9) Jack's Place
10) Mr Bean Cafe
11) Marutama Ramen
12) Professor Brawn's Cafe
13) Asian Kitchen
14) Kiseki Japanese Buffet
15) Shokudo Japanese Restaurant
CHOCOLATE'S HALL OF FAME
TOP OF THE LIST: Belgian Chocolates (authentic ones please)
2) the chocolates shannen always buy me =)
3) FROZEN kinder bueno
4) Ferrero Rocher
5) Van Houtten Almond Milk Chocolate
MAGGIE MEE'S HALL OF FAME
TOP OF THE LIST: INDOMEE !!
2) Nissin Dry Noodles
3) Myojo Prawn Noodle Soup
4) Maggie Curry Noodles
5) Myojo Ramen Char Mee
6) Indofood Dry Noodles
CHIP'S HALL OF FAME
TOP OF THE LIST: SAPPORO VEG CHILLI STRIPS
2) Calbee Hot & Spicy
3) Calbee Black Pepper Prawn Crackers
4) Cartwheel Biscuits
5) Pringles Seaweed Flavour
6) Pringles Shrimp Flavour
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009 @ 3:06 AM i now sit here wondering, what could i have done differently? what have i been doing the past few months?
about slightly more than a month ago i met a guy whom at that time i foolishly entertained the thought that he could be "the one". it was an "accident" that brought us together, but not really actually. i didn't want to put myself into any more sticky messy relationship status but he wasn't at all giving up. another wave of foolishness made me feel that he could really be "the one".
yeah it all started alright, he was nice most of the time. he dotes on me, buys my favourite food so that i can eat them when i wake up. brings me to places for good food blah blah. arranges mahjong sessions because i wanted to play. i was kind of happy.
slowly and slowly .............. from sweet words, it became shoutings at me. first it was just me and him, and then it became in front of his friends. he takes the lead to start teasing me and pouring cold water over me, seeing him do so, his friends took over the cue from him. no one really bothered what i was thinking. i would even get reprimanded for doing something i'm asked to. as when they like it, they pour a bucket of cold water over me, because everybody knew that my boyfriend wouldn't stand up for me. i knew i couldn't defend myself, because there was no one who would protect and speak up for me. i didn't even want to wait for the day he would start cursing and swearing at me.
in the whole month despite being happy, i felt something missing from him.
my friends who knew him asked me "you really happy with him? yes he seems to treat you alright, but you don't seem to be the most important to him?"
ah huh ...... they got it. yes i forever felt like i was miles away from being number 1 in his heart just even for a second. something a girlfriend should never feel. everywhere we went, everything WE did was what WE liked or at least HE liked. there's never gonna be something we do because I like it. and believe it or not, we NEVER HAD A PROPER DATE. not even once, it's always either impromtu or it's because we need to meet his friends along the way. between us, there's always his friends, soccer and what nots. every single bit of love we had, we need to share them with many people and things. was i even a part of him? but i've given him everything .....
the someone i used to love a lil, loves soccer kind of alot more than he loves me. so i used the subscription i pay to allow him to pursue his hobby. i couldn't bear to restrict him and let him watch his friends enjoy that freedom. i gave him the green light on some conditions ..........
1) do not always watch and talk about soccer all the time.
2) do not always face the computer doing soccer stuffs.
3) do not bet on soccer.
yeah indeed he was a lil happy. he told alot of people "jolynn 让我玩soccer liao ..." oh great, i sound like some control freak. in the start he didn't really keep to the conditions, i thought he was just too excited to follow. after that i have to start reminding him and that's when i keep getting reprimanded for something he promised me. and then that very sentence came out from his mouth ......................
"叫我不要赌是可以啦，不要一直看不要一直讲是没有可能啦。。。"
so from the start, HE NEVER INTENDED TO KEEP HIS PROMISES !!! do you think i'm the kind of girl you can go ahead with first and try to coax me later? if you're looking for that kind of 小女人, i'm not even half ok !!!
so i tried to laugh that pain off ..... i gave myself some false hopes, i lent him the mobile broadband stick again, and true enough with soccer he'd forget about me. he forgets how i feel, and how i hate it when he neglects me cause of soccer. imagine talking to someone for about 5sentences and then his friend flashes the phone screen of soccer scores to him and there your conversation is gone. it repeats every 5-10 sentences, until you get so tired of talking to him.
my friends all say that i'm missing online, and that is because i crippled my computer of its connection for an unworthy empty promise.
loving someone, you would love her everything. you would respect everything important to her because it would make her sad if that important thing is not protected. today my first day of school, started badly with the thought of him. after school i went to a mall to try getting some stuff for a best friend, belle. he met me there and asked me why i need to get things. and apparently i knew that he wasn't listening to the story when i told him many times before. and the one i "loved" told me a shockingly crude remark ...........
"belle 又不是什么重要的人。。。"
belle i know you'll feel bloody angry if you're reading this. at that moment my heart was screaming out "BASTARD !!!" it was because of you that i neglected belle for my whole holiday. she was so understanding and didn't blame me for it, she knew i just wanted to try my best for my love. you didn't even have half that understanding nor initiative to care for me, and you could say something like that.
i couldn't take it anymore. i wouldn't let anyone insult the value of my loved ones like that. i broke off with him. i didn't even give him a reason, because he didn't deserve it. he said i was childish to be angry with that remark, because to him she wasn't important and it's true.
i couldn't bear being with a bastard who can't even treat someone damn important to me with respect. belle 对你不是什么重要的人，可是她是我最珍惜的人。如果你连我的感受都无法理解，也不能体谅我的感受，那就当作我前一个月为你而尽的努力全都浪费！！
i'm damn guilty for neglecting her even before she's gonna migrate overseas for studies, and it's all because of you. if you were a good man, you would feel sorry for causing the neglection between me and her although it may not be entirely your fault. if you were a good boyfriend, you would feel for me.
i am in this world, where i don't know anyone, i have no one to depend on because the person i thought i could trust to protect me, is the one who will bully me the most. there was no one to teach me how to adapt to everything, all i get was how to live their life. i couldn't make a mistake, i can't at all. people there only wanted me to do things their way, i could never have my own say. i feel like i'd take forever to be in their world because i still need to be myself. so much time i'd spent to try make things better, but so much time i've been hurt. no one would give me any words of encouragement.
when i did something right, it should be that way. if i did something wrong, why do you have to be like that. this is all i could recall being a human for the past month, i behaved like a robot, someone who nobody need to care about. they wouldn't even change my battery .........
as time goes by, slowly things changed. from being one of the players on the table, it became half, and finally one day, i'm just an audience, because his friend wanted to play so he had to kick me away. i was perfectly fine with that idea as it was respect that comes first. i again foolishly thought i was still in part of his mind, i'm still 1/2 a player, but no the chance never came.
suddenly somebody wanted to play 20-40cents, which to a fella like him is budget and not worth playing. they were looking for players, and he immediately threw me over to them. the feeling was WOW shiok !!! but no worries, i could still smile.
maybe slowly ....... i wouldn't even be an audience. and everything will be fine .......
the past month, everything was almost all about him. i have so many at the back of my head i've yet to settle, but all i could think of was to do something for him. being with him was like a heavy responsibility to behave for me, and the rewards reaped was a meagre pat on the head. what a cool life .....
i'm very sorry to all my loved ones whom i let down for him. i knew it pained my mom to see me cry everytime i turn in bed at home. although she acted like she never saw, but i knew the hurt when one day she msg-ed me "why do you want to try so hard just to make yourself cry every night. is he really worth it? seeing you like this breaks my heart alot ..."
i don't know how to answer my mom nor myself, but i know ........... since day one, he isn't really that worth it.
have you ever understood the feeling of being small? that's what i feel when i'm with you.
every moment i fight to see my value .....
my presence is ignored, my pride was trampled on ......
why do i need to fight so hard to seen?
if my love is good .....
why do you let me take all these,
if you say you really loved me .....
maybe slowly and slowly again everything would change .............
no more mistakes from me, and not more hurt from you ............
the only thing that will change is the distance between me and you .............
slowly and slowly, i will be very far away from you .....................
no more cold water, no more insensitivity .......
no more hell, no more tears .......
thank god ..........
sometimes i hide in a corner and cry.
they are very happy they laugh at me because you made me cry.
i hate you, hate your friends and all the insensitivity.
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MY FREQUENT VISITS
 Xiaxue
Nira Chan
Xuesha
Cheap Sprees
Beautiful Instocks
Fc*k My Life
Movie Downloads
Movie Streaming
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credits
Theme: Joyce Nicole
Base code: Stephanie
Image: Kluke
Icons: Muitopat
Cursor: Lovecandied
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